Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize