he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
