I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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