Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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