haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize