Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
