Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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