She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
