Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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