They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
