just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
