You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize