I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
