She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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