Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
