i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so let's talk penis.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
