all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want to make out with him forever
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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