we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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