first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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