I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
