bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
