i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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