In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
