why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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