It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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