So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
