Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
