Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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