why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
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Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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