By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
