I just made out with a guy for $7.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
