Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
