I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
