We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize