He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
