wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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