Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
