Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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