oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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