You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
