And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize