Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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