Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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