We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
