Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
