What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
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I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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