Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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