she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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