my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
