I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize