My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
