Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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