as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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