just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
