Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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