I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
