So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
