'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
