Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
