Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
