Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
