Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
