If i come over, it means nothing
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
