Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
