Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
